How it works
You choose how often you'd like to be in touch with each person: every two weeks, every month, every three months or once a year. The page compares that with the last time you talked. Each person's distance from the centre is the time since you last talked divided by their rhythm: at the first ring a whole interval has passed and they're due; at the second, two intervals, and they're drifting. Someone you'd like to call every two weeks drifts out twice as fast as someone you see monthly. "Talked today" puts them back in the middle.
There's no score and no right answer. Research on friendship finds that contact keeps relationships from fading (Roberts and Dunbar, 2011), and that close friendships get more frequent contact than distant ones (Sutcliffe and colleagues, 2012), but nobody can say how often you should call your aunt. Names and notes stay in this browser; the page never reads your contacts.
Questions people ask
- How often should you talk to your friends?
- There's no single right number; it depends on the person and on you. Studies of friendship networks find layers of roughly 5, 15, 50 and 150 people, with closer layers in more frequent contact (Sutcliffe and colleagues, 2012), but those are averages, and the numbers are disputed. Pick a rhythm for each person here and change it whenever it feels wrong.
- Why does keeping in touch matter?
- Contact keeps relationships from fading. A study of 251 women found that how long since they last spoke to someone tracked how close they felt (Roberts and Dunbar, 2011), and the authors write that communication is important in preventing relationships from decaying.
- Does it read my contacts or send reminders?
- No. You type the names, and they stay in this browser unless you export them or download a calendar file yourself. There are no push notifications, because there's no server to send them; "Add to calendar" puts someone's next due day in your own calendar.
- Why do people move outward?
- Each person's distance from the centre is the time since you last talked divided by how often you'd like to: at the first ring a whole interval has passed (due), at the second, two (drifting). "Talked today" sets it back to zero.
- Where is my list kept?
- Only in this browser on this device; we never see it. Export a copy from "Your data" to keep it safe or move it.